Radio Day

The creative person is constantly seeking to discover himself, to remodel his own identity, and to find meaning in the universe through what he creates. He finds this a valuable integrating process which, like meditation or prayer, has little to do with other people, but which has its own separate validity. His most significant moments are those in which he attains some new insight, or makes some new discovery; and these moments are chiefly, if not invariably, those in which he is alone.

Anthony Storr, Solitude: A Return to the Self

Good morning. I have a new painting ready to begin, but cannot focus my mind on it today, because I have this live two-hour radio broadcast coming up at 3:00. If any of you would like to call in, the number is 214-431-5062. This is Internet radio, so if you wish to stream it, you may do so by going to www.reallifedfw.com and clicking on the “Easy Button” to listen in live. I would love the opportunity of meeting you.

Radio broadcasting lies far outside the confines of my day-to-day life activities. I am not nervous in the classroom, or before a live audience, but sitting in front of a microphone is not the way I communicate. Naturally, I’m getting a bit nervous. I’m glad that Heidi Valdez Hardy will be the host, because I’ve talked with her twice and she is a very smooth conversationalist. And I must continually remind myself that she will steer this two-hour broadcast. But still I’m on edge and have spent this entire morning writing, rewriting, revising, throwing away, starting over . . . and I will take none of these papers into the studio because I am there to listen, respond, and talk live. And I know that when the time comes, I’ll enjoy it immensely. I’m overwhelmed and grateful for this opportunity to share my art and the amazing vision of the Laguna Madre family of creative scholars at Texas A&M University Corpus Christi.

I have posted this quote from Anthony Storr’s Solitude because this book has resonated with me throughout the years like few other literary works. Spending most of my life alone, I do indeed find ways to reinvent myself, to reconfigure my world, to probe and try to find my own meaning in the midst of all this swirling day-to-day chaos. Teaching as a profession has fit me, and has helped define my life, but my job has never been my life. Ideas and art are my life, and I find the richest part of living in this search for meaning and expression. Since the Laguna Madre sojourn, I have written enough pages to publish in a book, but am finding just as much joy in the revision as the initial drafts. My heart is bursting with ideas I long to share, and for this reason, I’m delighted to go on the air today and talk about some of this.

Thank you always, for reading, and for all your words of support and encouragement.

I paint in order to remember.

I journal when I feel alone.

i blog to remind myself that I am not alone.