Posts Tagged ‘Studio 48’

Working Late on a Commission

May 4, 2024

“A pessimist? I guess so. I’m not proud of it. At my age don’t you get to be? When I see all those students running around painting–studying like mad–I say, ‘What’s the use? It all ends the same place.’ At fifty you don’t think of the end much, but at eighty you think about it a lot. Find me a philosopher to comfort me in my old age.”

Edward Hopper (interview with Brian O’Doherty published in American Masters: The Voice and the Myth)

Saturday night finds me at my drafting table in Studio Eidolons, where I have spent the entire day, and could well remain the entire tomorrow. I’m working to complete a watercolor commission of a private residence before leaving early Monday for a thrilling week judging, workshopping and demonstrating at the Plein Air on the White River event at Gaston’s White River Resort in Lakeview, Arkansas. All of the above reads as a romance, but in reality, I’m feeling like a grinder, and have felt this all week. But I’m proud of what I do, and grateful for these opportunities.

During drying times in the watercolor process, I have been reading up on Edward Hopper, one of my guiding spirits in painting. I posted his quote from the closing years of his life, and recall the first time I read it when I was in my fifties. I have come to agree with him. And as for seeking counsel and comfort from a philosopher on the aging thing, I have in recent years enjoyed more and more the intimate connection I feel with the likes of artists Edward Hopper, Andrew Wyeth, Robert Motherwell and Mark Rothko. What those aged men shared with interviewers has been left as a veritable gift for myself and others who seek something positive about living out our senior years. I lack one chapter finishing Last Light: How Six Great Artists Made Old Age a Time of Triumph. This book too, is proving a remarkable treasure.

Hopper poked fun at the young artists scurrying about “studying like mad.” I still do that, and love the lifestyle of research. I completed graduate school in 1987, but still feel the urge to research, think and write about the creative process. I’m still hungry. And though I’ve recently turned seventy, I’m picking up some of the “bad” habits from those earlier years in libraries, classrooms and studios–I just brewed a pot of “cowboy coffee” and am drinking it tonight with delight (honestly this is something I rarely do at this age, at this hour).

I frequently come up with one-word descriptions of how I regard myself as artist of the moment, sometimes Explorer, sometimes Scholar, sometimes Grinder. This weekend, it is certainly Grinder. But I like it. Decades ago, I hoped to gain fame as an artist. I don’t know when I stopped hoping for that. All I can say in these senior years is this: I’m grateful to have lived this long and experienced all that comes with living a creative life. When I had my last birthday, I thought “if I could just have ten more years.” I’ll try to stop thinking that thought. I’m just glad to have what I now have, and hope other creatives can feel the same measure of gratitude and joy. There is no life like it, as far as I’m concerned.

I’ll say Good-night now, and thanks for reading.

I make art in order to discover.

I journal when I feel alone.

I blog to remind myself I am not alone.

Staying up Much Too Late

May 3, 2024

Work on a new commission

. . . whereas [Norman] Rockwell was an indefatigable workhorse, [Edward] Hopper was slow, methodical, given to self-doubt, and long periods of reluctance to try a new canvas.

Gordon Theisen, Staying Up Much Too Late: Edward Hopper’s NIGHTHAWKS and the Dark Side of the American Psyche

This is so unlike me, being up at 2 a.m., working on a commission. But it is due by the end of the week, and I’ll travel to Palestine later today to put our Gallery at Redlands back together (after taking much of the furniture out of it for last weekend’s art festival). Saturday will find me back home while Sandi manages the Gallery at Redlands and sponsors our gallery artist Kathy Lamb during the monthly Art Walk.

My sentiments at this hour are reminiscent of years spent in graduate school, and later teaching. Those earlier days frequently found me up all hours of the night working on a lecture or assembling work for an art show or festival or gallery event. I rarely do that now. Tonight is just a matter of sticking with a deadline.

I posted the contrast of artists Norman Rockwell and Edward Hopper above because I have been in both pairs of shoes throughout my life. And right now, I am somehow wearing both pairs of shoes: I am working tirelessly into the night, yet frequently laying down the brush or pencil to cross the studio, read, reflect, journal, blog, and look up from time to time to stare across the room at the emerging painting, hoping to sharpen perspective and decide how to proceed from here. I have reached a conclusion that I do better work when I take frequent breaks to let the painting breathe, and allow myself to take up something else for awhile in order to put fresh eyes back onto the painting and resume the task. Though the hour now is late, I feel that it is one charged with quality.

I wanted to share one of my recent watercolors just framed today. This was the only one I did not take to the Dallas festival last weekend. As it turned out, I sold the other four snow scenes. This is the only one remaining in my portfolio, and I really want to take it to Colorado for the Trinidad Art Fest in July. Hopefully, I will create a few more snow scenes to replace the ones that have recently been purchased.

Time to resume the commission. Thanks for reading.

I create art in order to discover.

I journal when I feel alone.

I blog to remind myself I am not alone.

Digging Up Bones, Late in the Night

April 23, 2024

My New Exhibit at Studio 48 Gallery in Arlington’s Gracie Lane Boutiques

We will all return to the Bateau-Lavoir. We were never truly happy except there.

Pablo Picasso in 1945, quoted in Picasso and the Painting That Shocked the World, by Miles J. Unger

I did some of the best work of my life there.

Robert Motherwell, reminiscing about his East Hampton years, 1944-1952, quoted in Robert Motherwell: The East Hampton Years, 1944-1952, by Phyllis Tuchman

I am on dangerous ground. My mind wants to gild my memories. It wants to present the past in soft focus, as muzzy and sentimental as a greeting card. It doesn’t want to remember the long days spent drinking . . . No, I cannot afford to romance my past. It does not serve me. To stay emotionally sober, I must focus the lens of my perceptions clearly on the now.

Julia Cameron, Finding Water: The Art of Perseverence

I am up past midnight in my sacred Studio Eidolons. Sandi is busy in the other room, and I feel the warmth and camaraderie of her presence. The next two days will seem frenetic, as we organize, pack and load for a 6:00 a.m. arrival Friday at the Dallas Arboretum. But we’ve been here before, many times, and panic is not in our psyches. I’m enjoying the quiet of the night as jazz softly plays in my studio and I attempt to state my present mind in this blog.

The string of quotes above touch me deeply. I have read several times of artists in their senior years somehow pining to return to the way things were when they were younger. My sentiments, however, align with Julia Cameron in her Finding Water. I have no pretense about my life in 1987 when I was trying to figure out what direction to take. I’m posting a photo below of me in the back yard of my garage apartment in those days, posing before a completed acrylic on canvas of my hero Friedrich Nietzsche, laboring into the night. I miss my trim physique and full head of hair from those days, but that is all. I am not romanticizing those days. They were pure hell. I recently re-read my entire 1987 journal that recorded those torrid, suffering days, and all I can say tonight is Good Riddance.

I am happy to live closer to 2022, posted above. In 1987, I wondered if I could ever reach a calmer, more contemplative life as a creative. Now, retired after a successful teaching career, I’m happy to do what pleases me most, and grateful for the health and strength to set up an art booth and enjoy a quality festival atmosphere for a weekend.

And speaking of which–last night I was notified that I have been juried into the Trinidad Art Fest 2024 to be held in Colorado. I have been waiting this year to see if I could get in, and now we are making exciting plans to participate in this show July 12-14, and then journey on to South Fork, Colorado to enjoy the cool San Juan mountains. I’ll be ecstatic to return to the trout streams and play with some plein air watercolor activity. No, I don’t pine for the days I knew in 1987. I’m grateful I’ve been allowed to live to my seventieth year and enjoy the things we do now.

Trinidad Coffee Memories. Framed Watercolor

Thanks for reading.

I make art in order to discover.

I journal when I feel alone.

I blog to remind myself I am not alone.

Sifting Through the Debris

April 19, 2024

My Booth at Artscape 2022

There are memories of days of this sort, of wonderful driftings in and out of the crowd, of seeing and thinking. Where are the sketches that were made? Some of them are in dusty piles, some turned out to be so so good they got frames, some became motives for big pictures, which were either better or worse than the sketches, but they, or rather the states of being and understandings we had at the time of doing them all, are sifting through and leaving their impress on our whole work and life.

Robert Henri, The Art Spirit

With the Dallas Arboretum event one week away, I find myself today tidying my wreck of a studio so I can make it a legitimate workspace. In the adjoining room I have stacks and stacks of discarded art work from years past–some of it unfinished, some of it finished but not matted or framed, most of it forgotten. I’ve decided to look at all the discarded work to see if any of it can become part of my “A Team” to hang in the art booth next week. It’s not that I don’t have enough merchandise for the space. At last count I had 92 framed watercolors ready to hang. But I have seen all of those in Gallery at Redlands, Studio 48, and various art festivals where I’ve participated. I’m ready to see something new on the walls. And so, as I slog my way through this studio tidying, I lean forward with interested anticipation at what I’ll find as I did up the old bones of past work. If even one of them is deemed worthy of display, I’ll feel I have done something productive. I have a good supply of mats and frames ready to put on new work.

I’ll leave early in the morning to spend Saturday in Palestine’s Gallery at Redlands. At the end of the day, I’ll pack up some of the gallery’s furnishings for my booth the next weekend.

Thanks for reading. I’ll post more when I have more to report. Artscape will be April 27-28, and I’m getting ready to organize and load my gear for the event. I’d love to see you there!

Sunday Sermon

February 25, 2024

This morning I opened a fat file of sermons I delivered over a decade from a Unitarian pulpit. After reading and revising a few, I’ve decided to post this one, hoping it might bring comforting thoughts to some.

Thanks for reading.

Shepherd or Liberator?[1]

Human beings are a curious species.  Introduced to this earth, the individual immediately starts exploring boundaries, discovering rules, and trying to figure out what is supposed to be done in this life.  Many have argued that one thing that separates humans from other living species is the ability to reflect, to examine oneself and try to figure out some kind of purpose to this existence.  Life is a gift, yes.  It was handed to us without our request, and without our participation.  But we realize quickly that it takes a great deal of work and responsibility to sustain life.  And I think it is safe to say that most of the human population is not content with just staying alive biologically, but seeks a measure of quality, comfort and understanding about what all of this is about.  One of the fundamental sources that one turns to is religion. 

And above all, since other people surround us, we desire to know how to get along.  Thus, rules are proposed, constitutions are drafted, and people seek to sustain quality.  As people seek order among one another, they appeal to laws of logic, but sometimes they still turn to religion. 

All of us are familiar with the Hebraic religion, which would later spawn Christian and Islamic traditions.  I am going to read now from the first book of the Hebrew Bible, the Book of Genesis, chapter one, verse twenty-six and following.  And I’m going to take this reading from the seventeenth-century King James Version: “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, And over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

From this ancient Semitic text, religious bodies have extracted a theological mandate to explore this world, find out how it works, and make responsible use of it.  Life and this world are the gift of the creator God.  As one reads further in the Hebrew Scriptures, explanations of people not getting along and disasters occurring are chalked up to disobedience, sin against the creator God, and his retribution.

When one turns to the traditions of the Hellenes, later called Greeks, two long epic poems emerge: The Iliad and The Odyssey.  These brilliant literary works spin out a horrific story of a ten-year bloody Trojan War, followed by a ten-year, troublesome wandering odyssey, where our hero seeks to find his way back home, to the source of life’s values.  All the breakdowns in society and hurtful fortunes of humanity, during this Homeric age, are attributed to sin against the gods and their measured retributions.

So, we pause at this point, and observe that both Hebrews and Greeks have left us an old belief system that can be summed up accordingly: “as in heaven so on earth.”  Biblical scholars have tagged this as Deuteronomic theology.  This is a belief system that explains rewards because of God’s blessing, and tragedies because of God’s punishment.  Someone long ago should have warned religious questers to get off that ideological bus at the next stop, because this is not going to take anyone to any suitable destination.  How on earth could anyone seriously believe that all good comes from obeying God and evil from offending him?  Babies die.  Good people suffer diseases.  Accidents take away loved ones.  And evil people can prosper and flourish and die at a ripe old age, rich, and in their beds with no pain of body or conscience.  Deuteronomic theology never stood the test of the opening questions.  So, we may as well go about the more fruitful task of finding a quality to this life, receiving its gifts, and making our contributions to its longevity and improvement.

I think back, way back to a world darkened in its early recorded history, when human beings lived in confusion, superstition, ignorance, wars, and suspicion of other cultures.  All of them were preoccupied with carving out a living on this planet—a planet that didn’t willingly yield up its sustenance.  Generations of thinkers tried to come to grips with the swirling mass of events that engulfed them, hoping with their thoughts and words to find meaning.  In their Scriptures, the Hebrews wrote meditations like “The entrance of Thy Word giveth light.”  Later, the Greeks would coin their own word “logos,” that we translate “word.”  Also, from “logos” we get the word logic, a structure that imposes order on chaos. The philosopher Martin Heidegger urged that “logos” could be translated as “gathering together.”

I want to move us a little further down history now, in this reflection over the world and how things work.  The Hebrew and Hellenic worlds found simple explanations of life’s rewards and calamities by making the gods responsible for it all.  Such belief systems were naïve, and we can chalk it up to earlier ignorance and superstition, but we certainly cannot justify it today, after so many centuries have yielded up historical testimony. 

It wasn’t too many centuries after the opening books of the Hebrew Bible and the tradition of Homeric verse before a group of independent thinkers whom we call the Presocratics, living in Turkey and southern Italy, broke away from these simplistic religious explanations around 585 B.C.E.  This date marks the occasion when Thales of Miletus successfully predicted a solar eclipse.  He did this by studying and making charts of the heavenly bodies.  When the people surrounding him tried to declare him a prophet, a shaman, or even a god, he rejected these claims, declaring that he simply had been studying the movements of the heavenly bodies.  This would begin the fundamental shift in thinking about ultimate matters away from “Who?” and in favor of “What?”  The discussion shifted from religion to science, from mythology to physics.  Instead of asking who made reality, the Presocratic asked “What is reality?”  “What is the ‘stuff’ of reality?”  The German word Urstoff is translated primary substance—what is the primary substance of reality?  From what is everything made? 

In our day, we would have called these Presocratic thinkers physicists.  Some argued that the primary substance was water.  Others said “air.”  Others said “fire.”  Some argued that reality was a mixture of the four prime elements: earth, air, fire and water.  Eventually they would move beyond these physical explanations and toward the metaphysical, and would once again form some kind of quasi-religious explanation of how the world works.  But let’s give them credit in the fact that they at least erased from these religious discussions all traces of some sort of personal, emotional, war-like God made in the popular images of frustrated humans.  Yes, frustrated, exasperated humans.  By the sixth century B.C.E., the Presocratics had eliminated these gods made in human images.  And now look where we stand today after all these years.  It amazes me that in our society, well-educated people still conceptualize a God with the angry demeanor of a James Dobson, pretending to Focus on the Family.  How does one explain that?

Anaxagoras was the first Presocratic to suggest that Mind was behind all that we see: it was Mind that ordered chaos into a structure that could be understood and therefore managed.  And this supreme Mind has left its copy in all of us—we possess minds to organize this reality that often comes at us in cascades of confusing details.  One person wrote: “All was in chaos until Euclid arose and created order.” Pythagoras, the popularly quoted mathematician, was the first to coin the word “philosopher.”  This is a compound Greek word whose meaning is one who “loves wisdom.”  Note that the word does not translate “love of knowledge.”  There are other Greek words, including epistēmē, that we translate as “knowledge.”  But this is the word “sophia,” translated “wisdom.”  Wisdom is more than knowledge—it is knowledge applied.  Wisdom is the “art of steering.”  The Hebrew word chochma, that we translate “wisdom,”refers to the helmsman, the shipman at the rudder, who applied his knowledge and skills to steering a course through treacherous waters. 

Heraclitus of Ephesus next emerged and offered psychological, contemplative insight as he sought to understand his world.  One reason he still appeals to writers, artists and psychologists is because his fragments offer up a poetry of dissonance.  He argued that there is a tension to be found in the heart of the mind.[2]  Instead of falling back on explanations of angry gods responsible for human suffering, he wrote that we have the conflicts within us, and “from the strain of binding opposites comes harmony.”  He also said this: “Two made one are never one”.  Arguing the same, we disagree.  Singing together, we compete.  We choose each other to be one, and from the one both soon diverge.”  My God, I’ll consider that meditation more seriously than the one who says: “The reason we have conflict is because you refuse to submit to the laws of God.”  Heraclitus also testified to the enduring power of the well-spoken word: “The prophet’s voice possessed of god requires no ornament, no sweetening of tone, but carries over a thousand years.”

Following three centuries of rich, lively debate about the world at large and the human’s role in it, an Athenian rose named Socrates.  His life had been changed at Delphi, that rugged, mountainous site in the secluded crevices of the Greek mainland.  Navigating his way patiently around and up the slopes of Mount Parnassus, he reverently approached the Temple of Apollo and consulted the Oracle.  He was forever changed by the brief, pithy word given him: gnōthi seauton, Know Thyself.  Returning to Athens, he dropped all discussions of gods and physics and went to the heart of the matter, which he summed up as this: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Looking at the multitudes he was moved with compassion because he saw them chained inside a dark cave.  His famous “Allegory of the Cave,” recorded in Plato’s Republic, has haunted me for decades now.  He tells the story of people chained in a cave, able only to stare straight ahead at shadows flickering on the wall before them.  These shadows are caused by a fire behind them, throwing images of whatever passes behind them onto the walls before them.  This is the only reality they have ever known or discussed among themselves.  Our hero is one of those captives who breaks his chains, rises, and climbs up out of the cave, discovers a whole new world of ideas and images, then returns to the cave to tell his fellow captors of this adventure.  They reject him as strange and out of touch with reality, their reality. 

Socrates, moved with compassion for the throngs of citizens that he envisaged as chained in their ideological caves, merely tried to set them free.  Through his relentless questions in the marketplace, he tried to enable people to knock the padlocks off their minds and face life steadily and whole, to embrace it for what it really is. 

Five centuries after Socrates, one Jesus of Nazareth looked up at his multitudes and was moved with compassion, for he saw them as wandering sheep with no shepherd.  They were faint and without direction.  Jesus would model himself as the good shepherd, leading sheep that were lost.

Here, I see a fundamental distinction between the perspectives of Socrates and Jesus.  Socrates, seeing people chained in a cave, dedicated his life to helping them break their chains and climb out of the cave to freedom.  Jesus on the other hand, perceived people as wandering lost and needing a shepherd.  He would personify the nurturer, the caregiver for the scattered flocks.  Somewhere along the roads of Christian history, a shift occurred.  Leaders of the Christian movement somehow lost that compassion and replaced it with administrative theory.  And now, rather than helping people who have lost their way, generations of shepherds have arisen that seek to lead these flocks back into the cave, where they can more easily chain them to look at the flickering shadows of their creeds and learn to recite their precepts mindlessly.  It amazes me that Christian leaders in our century still invoke the name of Jesus in their justification of returning people to these caves and bondage.  And where Socrates once used argument to spur debate, believing that such education brought freedom, the succeeding religious leaders have used the tools of fear, suspicion, intimidation, and indoctrination to padlock the minds and consciences of these sheep.  These leaders have exchanged the shepherd motif of Jesus for that more suited to the border collie.

Civilization has come too far to turn back.  Nietzsche’s hero Zarathustra chastised his nineteenth-century generation as being the first to relapse into former worn-out ideologies rather than surge forward in Enlightenment as their predecessors had done.  I cringe at the same indictment this day: how long can this nation endure the Medieval superstition and fear mongering of media preachers spewing their invectives and converting mass media into mass hysteria?  How long will our citizens willingly march lockstep into the ideological caves and sit obediently chained to worn-out creeds?  As a people, what do we want, a liberator or a shepherd?  A teacher or a locksmith?  A visionary philosopher or an orthodox priest?

An exasperated Jesus one day exclaimed: “To what shall I liken this generation?”  I close with that same question.  Just what kind of generation surrounds us today?  Is it feudal?  Is it Medieval?  Is it governed by fear, superstition, and ideological coercion? 

Why are we Unitarians here?  I believe we are here to practice religion freely, without coercion, and to recognize those liberties as human values in this society in which we live.  And we acknowledge that there are chains that bind the citizens that surround us.  But there are chains that bind us as well.  What kinds of chains hold you these days?  What things restrain you from reaching your potential, your freedom?  The time has arrived to follow the example set by our liberator, to break the chains and explore the options that surround us these days. 


[1] Sermon delivered at Arlington Unitarian/Universalist Church October 7, 2007

[2] David Farrell Krell, “Introduction,” to Martin Heidegger, Early Greek Thinking: The Dawn of Western Philosophy, trans. David Farrell Krell and Frank A. Capuzzi (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1975), p. xvi.

Another pair of stories from Turvey’s Corner

February 24, 2024

Saturday in The Gallery at Redlands, I’m pleased to announce that our gallery, finally, is listed in Google Business, including the hours and complete profile, so people inquiring can find out all about us and how to get here (and even write reviews!).

I am attaching a pair of Turvey’s Corner stories from the book I’m writing. About fifty years separates the setting for the pair, but there is an important link that made me feel I should present them together. I hope you enjoy them:

So Great a Cloud of Witnesses

Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

Hebrews 12:1 (King James Version)

Looking up, Hank noticed that Randy had put down his coffee cup and had a small volume open and was reading by the campfire light. “What are you reading?” he wanted to know.

“Translating, actually. I still carry my little Greek New Testament in my pack because I like working the language.”

“You quit the ministry. Do you still believe all that stuff?”

“Not all of it. But much of it still rings authentic. And then there are other parts, like what I’m reading tonight that really stimulate the imagination. This is from Hebrews 12. The image is a race in a stadium filled with spectators. The spectators are “heroes of faith” mentioned in the chapter before, people who suffered hardship but still believed in what they were doing. The author writes that the one running the race is being cheered on by all those heroes of faith who have gone before. It’s supposed to give one courage and confidence living out this life as though it is an arduous race.”

Randy nodded. “That’s what I’m feeling right now. Since I quit the seminary, Paul Tillich and Karl Barth have stayed with me. I still read them a great deal, especially Tillich. I can identify with a lot of what he went through, though my own troubles seem microscopic compared to his. Still, I draw strength from his example. Then of course, there are other writers who are not theologians that give me plenty of encouragement and reason to believe—Emerson, Thoreau, Hemingway, Kerouac—I love them all and wish I could have known them in real life.”

Hank agreed. “I can identify with that. I wonder if we’ll still feel this way when we get old.”

“I wonder that too,” Randy said, nodding. ” I just hope I don’t get too mentally lazy and stop reading and imagining as I get older.”

(fifty years later)

Randy at Rest

Randy drifted slowly in and out of consciousness throughout the morning. It was his second week in hospice, and though he was unaware of how long he lay there, he knew he would drift away before too much longer. Judy, his only love, sat to the left of his bed and Hank, his lifelong friend, was seated to his right.

Eighty-three years. A satisfying sojourn. Few regrets. A myriad of memories worth embracing. In fact, Randy did nothing else but re-visit memories for days now. The pain in his chest was minimal, and breathing not very difficult. Drugs numbed his body, but his mind felt keen. The refrain of memories that occupied him the most included the west Texas Caprock campouts, complete with campfire, coffee, and soul-searching conversations.

Randy wondered why he had held fast to theology throughout his years. He never would pastor a congregation. He dropped out of seminary without completing a degree. Yet the life and writings of Paul Tillich had held the center of his broad reading and musing throughout his years. From the day he dropped out of seminary, he had fed on a steady diet of Emerson, Thoreau, Hemingway, and Kerouac, among other essayists, poets, and novelists. But he always came back to Paul Tillich, the German theologian expelled by Hitler from German universities. The Columbia University and Union Theological Seminary faculties in New York City came to his rescue, arranging for his passage to America. At age forty-three, the frightened scholar would arrive on New York shores to begin a new chapter in his life that would last his remaining three-plus decades.

Randy always felt he had found a kindred spirit in Tillich, though the man had died a decade before Randy even learned of his life and work. As energy slowly ebbed from his body, he felt the warm kiss of Judy on his forehead. “I love you, Randy. I always have.” Hank squeezed Randy’s right hand. “Love you, Pal.” Randy tried to whisper: “Hell of a ride,” but was not sure the sound passed his lips.

Though his eyes were closed, Randy could see clearly where he was now—on an enormous, crowded ship pulling into harbor. The Statue of Liberty loomed overhead as they glided by. How unusual to be surrounded by a throng speaking a cacophony of European languages. On the shores, thousands of people were thronged, waving in frenzy, welcoming the refugees on board. Sadly, Randy had not arranged for anyone to meet him. He thought of his father, returning home from the Korean War, with no one there to greet him at the bus station. As he descended with the passengers off the ship and onto the docks, he watched with aching heart as men and women embraced, children leaped into the arms of parents, and joyous clamoring rung out across the frenzied city.

But suddenly, he saw a thin man in a gray suit pushing impatiently through the crowd, gesturing at him. Paul Tillich? Randy was in disbelief. He had seen dozens of photos of the Prussian scholar in books he had read and collected throughout the years. And now, Paul Tillich was eagerly fighting his way through a crowd to greet Randy?

“Randy, my dear, dear Friend!”

“Professor Tillich?”

“Paulus, please.”

“You know me?”

“Of course!”

“How? You died ten years before I ever heard of you.”

“Such a cute, naïve lad! So. You didn’t really believe what you told Hank by the fire that night when you shared the words from Hebrews 12?”

“You know about that?!”

“Of course. Out here, we have no limits! I wasn’t the only one watching and listening to you that night. Come on, let’s go! Emerson, Thoreau, Hemingway, and Kerouac are waiting. I left them in the café to come get you. We have plenty to talk about . . .”

Judy and Hank wiped tears from their eyes. “At least he went peacefully,” was all Hank was able to say.

“Yes,” replied Judy. “I wonder what he was dreaming there at the end. He smiled and seemed happy.”

Thanks for reading.

Return to Writing

February 22, 2024

The world’s darkening never reaches to the light of Being.

Martin Heidegger, “The Thinker as Poet”

After languishing a few years, the book I began writing and illustrating has begun to breathe again. Over the past few days, I’ve written and illustrated several stories about three fictional characters I’ve drafted as they come of age. I’m attaching one of them below. Thanks for reading.

Seated outside the South Fort Worth Rail Market, Randy sipped fresh coffee from a ceramic mug & saucer. The LanAzza, an Italian Coffee Company, was nearing closing time behind him. Management told him it would be okay to remain out back on the loading dock beneath an umbrella marked BIRRA MORETTI, at a round iron-mesh table. A breeze stirs. Rock Island approached, lugging a long, tired string of freight cars under a bright, hot sun.

How could he “sketch” this, he mused. Straight ahead, in the distance, under shimmering sunlight, rested long trains of freight cars on sidings, coupled to grimy yellow Union Pacific road diesels and dingy gray Southern Pacific engines. A solitary Amtrak engine idled nearby.

Solitary and sad lounged the empty rail market behind him. The businesses, mostly restaurants and cafes, languished. Patrons were sparse. A pensive-looking man in white starched shirt and tie sat at a table with his attaché case. An overweight, middle-aged black woman looked for a restroom. The remaining five occupants–proprietors and employees. All the restaurant and café tables were empty. The capacity—fifty, at least.

Another Trinity Rail Express in new red, white and blue passed. The overhead clock showed 5:15.

Cars scurried over the ribbon of the Fort Worth overhead freeway, like mice across the top of a door molding. Fleecy clouds hung suspended over an ozone canopy.

The time was now 5:20. A long blast from a freight whistle announced the booming, diesel-throbbing approach from the left. A trio of Union Pacific GP-28 diesels, numbers 1957, 1951, and 2012. The first was shine, second and third were grime. No freight cars in their wake. Just three coupled diesels looking like envelopes without addresses. No destination. No hurry.

Gazing straight ahead eastward, the lonely musician watched the shadow from the depot behind him creeping further and further across the rear parking lot.

5:32 p.m. Randy returned for a second cup of coffee, an eight-ounce can of decaf LavAzza, and a bottle of Birra Peroni, since 1846, now Italy’s #1 beer. With open journal, he blissed with his fountain pen.

#567 Trinity Rail Express just cleared the station and cruised southbound to connect to the eastbound tracks to Dallas.

The Birra Peroni is much calmer than our domestic beers, particularly Budweiser. Coming back out from the restaurant, he then noticed that the three envelopes without addresses had departed with a long string of Union Pacific hoppers that he had been gazing at over the past hour, thus exposing the line of freight and engines hidden behind. Now another trio approached: one Union Pacific #2078 and two Southern Pacific Cotton Belt diesels.

Station would close in fifteen minutes. The late afternoon breeze stirred the July heat.

5:50. Closing time, ten minutes.

Another whistle from the north—no from the northeast. It will pass on the other side of the train yard. Through them he could see three Union Pacifics and one Southern Pacific.

Now a northbound freight at 6:00. Blue and yellow Santa Fe #3180. Two Burlington Northern greens #7822 and 7825. Santa Fe is GP28; Burlington Northerns are SD40s. Pulling nine gondolas of scrap iron, followed by short (two-bay) double hoppers TILX, CEFX, MBKX, a tenth scrap iron gondola. And now the string of three-bay hoppers. They are Southern Pacific. And now a CN (Canadian National) reefer in terra cotta color. And a Cottom Belt three-bay hopper. All the hoppers are covered.

Time is 6:15. TRE #568 has just now cleared the station and is southbound. It apparently entered the station while he was inside returning his coffee cup and saucer.

Randy mused, “I could just now be W. C. Handy, sitting in a late afternoon train station, one hundred and one years later. Not in Tutwiler, Mississippi, but in Forth Worth, Texas. I have my denims. My sunglasses. My broad-brimmed straw hat. All I need now is my old Gibson archtop guitar and a slide. What a picture that would make—playing slide guitar on this hot shady train platform on a late July afternoon creeping into evening. There is plenty of privacy here this Thursday afternoon. No one has walked this platform in front of me except an employee pulling a maintenance dumpster on wheels.”

Picking up his fountain pen, he began . . .

Bring the slide guitar here. And lean in. Listen.

Listen to the rumble, murmur of the distant freeway traffic.

Listen to the squealing brakes of the trains in the yard.

Listen to the bass-throbbing diesel locomotives.

Feel the motive power.

Hear the occasional grackle uttering cacophonous static.

The occasional airplane drones.

As the trains squeak their steel over steel brakes, so let the old Gibson squeak steel slides over steel strings. This is the venue for country blues. Archtop. Flattop. Acoustical. Percusive, steel sliding, steel-bending blues moaning the afternoon into the evening breeze.

High Energy Friday in The Gallery at Redlands

February 16, 2024

Late Friday Evening in The Gallery at Redlands

There are moments in our lives, there are moments in a day, when we seem to see beyond the usual–become clairvoyant. We reach then into reality. Such are the moments of our greatest happiness. Such are the moments of our greatest wisdom.

Robert Henri, The Art Spirit

I’m writing with a glad heart this evening as we near the close of another boisterous day. In the past week I’ve taught a total of five watercolor classes. Every encounter is fresh with enthusiasm from students, and I always feed off their energy. I can hardly wait for tomorrow afternoon’s class. I have four students coming in then. I’m ready.

The evening has been unceasingly busy with gallery-related business. I’m trying to straighten out the Google information that lists our gallery as “temporarily closed.” There are many hoops to jump through in providing all the necessary information for posting. Hopefully tomorrow we’ll have the information up and running. I’ve been looking at a spinning circle on the computer all evening as they verify my information.

I have also launched a new Facebook page for our Gallery. The previous page is still under the control of the former owners who opened the gallery. I just haven’t been diligent in launching a current page since Sandi and I took ownership nearly three years ago. The new page is now up and running, and I’m pleased already to see it brimming with new likes and followers. Tomorrow I plan to flesh out the page further, and also go back and pump fresh blood into my anemic Recollections 54 Facebook page. We’ve been making plans for better advertising for our business, and are just now getting matters settled.

My next Arlington watercolor class at Studio 48 will be the last Wednesday in February from 1-4:00. I still have a few seats available. Anyone interested in attending will need to register on the website https://www.gracielanecollection.com/art-workshops-arlington-tx. Cost is $55 and all materials are provided. Here is the composition we’ll paint on an 8 x 10″ surface. It is the Pedernal at Georgia O’Keeffe’s Ghost Ranch.

Though tired physically, I cannot overstate the feeling of eudaimonia I’ve enjoyed throughout this day and evening. I hope for more of the same tomorrow. I’m deeply satisfied with the retired life, and eternally grateful for the opportunity to pursue artful endeavors.

Lobby Window of Gallery

Street View of Gallery

I’ll try to post updates tomorrow. Thanks always for reading.

I make art in order to discover.

I journal when I feel alone.

I blog to remind myself I am not alone.

Such a Great Cloud of Witnesses

February 15, 2024

Sitting at my Rolltop Desk

. . . of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

Ecclesiastes 12:12

Gratefully retired, I receive this gift of an entire day with only one afternoon appointment. Seated at my desk, I look up at this row of magnificent literary geniuses from yesterday, and wish I could absorb the contents of these volumes in the brief hours of this one day. For tomorrow, I’ll depart early for Palestine and spend the weekend in our Gallery at Redlands.

I find difficulty in explaining my feelings right now. For decades, I knew so well the Ecclesiastes quote above. My graduate school years, followed by the teaching years–four decades of deadlines, anxieties, fears of failure, hours of research, writing, lecture composition, never enough quality time. In 2017, most of those deadlines ceased. By 2021, all of them ceased. No more assignments. No more audience. No more schedule. But I cannot flip the switch–I still wake in the mornings with ideas swarming like flies all around my mind, and I find myself wanting to reach for the journal to capture and organize them. “Why?” my precious friend recently asked. I can’t say.

Actually, it’s a number of issues. I had a goal for my scholarly life, and I never reached it, though I came close a time or two. I guess I’m still in that competitive mode. For another thing, I’m conscious that I’m nearing the end. My father’s passing last year has put those thoughts in my head, and I’m unable to shake them. But there is something else that surpasses what I’ve just shared: my obsession to read great works springs from the precious company of those remarkable geniuses.

Years ago, during a presidential campaign, I recall reading a quip from a journalist: “With whom would you rather sit down for an hour over a beer, Bob Dole or Bill Clinton?” Since that day, my answer has been the same: “Neither. I would rather have an hour with Emerson, Tillich, Thoreau, Whitman, or William Carlos Williams.” At this precious age of sixty-nine, I realize that I draw much more encouragement and energy for life by reading the magnificent ideas from our former luminaries than any public or pop figure in today’s culture.

Looking up from my writing desk right now, I see a host of magnificent thinkers and writers whose tomes nearly span the width of my entire desk. Above them, I see the sculpture portrait of Democritus, who left behind only sentence fragments, but unoubtedly lived a robust life of dreams and aspirations. And I see a black-figure amphora modeled after the craftsmanship of a Roman potter. There is also the abstracted Cycladic head carved from Parean marble on a remote Greek island. We know so little of what the folks thought and did from day to day in the third millennium BCE. But there remains this palm-sized head that someone extracted from the marble.

There is another passage from the Bible that remains with me this morning:

Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

Hebrews 12:1

This still resonates with me, though I am no longer running in the race. I am retired and happy. Happy that I am still encompassed by a “great cloud of witnesses.” I revel in their company every time I read their immortal words and sigh over their soaring ideas. I still feel their heartbeat. And every time I engage in a creative act, I sense their encouragement and affirmation. I am so proud to have encountered them.

Before closing, I’ll share a few more pieces I’ve completed recently:

Guadalupe Range. 8×10″ watercolor (recent class I taught)

Longmire on the Prowl. 8×10″ watercolor (recent class I taught)

Paul Tillich portrait (print of ink drawing) 5×7 frame

Thanks for reading.

I make art in order to discover.

I journal when I feel alone.

I blog to remind myself I am not alone.

Smoke Rising

February 14, 2024

The drilling machine for the Aargau lecture (“Biblical Questions, Insights, and Vistas”) is going full strength and an unbroken pillar of smoke is rising from my pipe to the ceiling as in the best times of my life.

letter from Karl Barth to Eduard Thurneysen, March 17, 1920

This morning, cloistered in my studio, smoke does not rise from a pipe, but steam from a coffee cup while savoring some quiet at my desk. I have a watercolor class later at Studio 48, but for now I read and remember times from graduate school days when I labored over the writings of theologian Karl Barth.

Barth’s first pastorate was in the farming and industrial town of Safenwil, Switzerland. He formed a strong bond with pastor Thurneysen who served in Leutwil, on the other side of a mountain range. Their personal visits were not enough to satisfy, so they exchanged letters faithfully, now published in Revolutionary Theology in the Making: Barth-Thurneysen Correspondence, 1914-1925. As a doctoral student and later a pastor, I could not read these letters enough, so charged are they with the dreams and confidence of a young pair of active minds. In my retired years, I’m enriched with several good artist friends who still have that creative fire burning that ignites lasting conversations.

Karl Barth (left) and Eduard Thurneysen, 1920

Before closing and leaving for class, I wanted to share a trio of watercolors I’ve just completed and am ready to begin framing for art festivals that are coming up pretty quickly on the calendar.

Inspired by Barth and Thurneysen, I’m happy to know I have my own smoke (steam) rising as I get things underway for art activities in the near future.

Thanks for reading.

I make art in order to discover.

I journal when I feel alone.

I blog to remind myself I am not alone.